Wedding planning Spoonie Style - Pt 1

I get married in less than 2 months, to say im exicited and nervous is an understatement. However, hunting around the Internet for guides to organising a wedding, I'm struck as i often am, that very little information exists out there for a bride that might need to do things a little different and have needs that other brides don't..(I realise men get married too and LM is fully informed on all things..but when i talk colour scheme his eyes begin to glaze over)

Things you just wouldn't think of if you don't live with any kind of impairment, in my case a chronic illness that has the ability to strike at will and no amount of hoping or "resting" will prevent it.

I had to plan and think latterly with some things, this is just my guide to how Ive planned a big wedding for 86 Guests.

Once the excitement and gushing over the ring is over..in our case the engagement also included a little old lady with a dog* shouting at us for daring to stand on the side of a gorgeous Northumberland River (well LM was I was on a bridge overlooking said river) - it turned out later she had dementia and had decided on a wander unknown to her family..which did make it a little better but did somewhat take the shine off his proposal..

Budget - £3K - compared to many weddings its a pretty modest budget.

Finding a Venue

Given our budget we couldn't just turn up to the nearest stately home with rooms and say there you go petal organise it we had to think about stuff so we looked at

1. 3 place wedding (town hall, reception, close by hotel)
2. 2 place wedding (town hall, hotel for reception and sleeping)
3. 1 place wedding (all in hotel)

 A bit like Goldilocks we tried the 1st 2 ideas out for logistics and kept coming back to the simple fact trying to make sure I had enough energy to travel between 3 places, and not end up broken and in bed by the time dinner was served simply wasn't feasible.

I did try to pretend for a while it would be manageable as id found a lovely venue - but having a pretty venue that you fall in love with when the logistics don't work is simply adding pressure and the potential for ruining your day is huge.

Venue: Things to thinks about

• Layout - how far is it between rooms, will you have to walk a long way to get anywhere?
• How many steps does it have?
• How far away are the loos?
• If you use a wheelchair is it accessible?
• How close is your room to the reception?
• How willing are the staff to be flexible to timings?
• Is there a room with no music to retreat to?

after a bit of a panic after loosing out on a couple of venues, and trying to find the right date..we spread out net wider and found a lovely venue in an old coaching inn.

Good Points

• Its lovely with real character and charm as well as being well within budget 
• The reception area is close together no long spoon sapping  walks down long hotel corridors
• Its a ground floor venue - the ceremony room is next to the reception room that's next to loos no steps and enough space for Maude the wheelchair if i need it
• The bar area is attached to the reception space again no steps or long walks. 
• We have exclusive use of a downstairs bar so if the music is too much i can retreat but still be with guests
• The staff have been very flexible with our requests* 
• We have booked all the rooms the hotel has for our guests

Compromise Point
 I wont say negative as i don't think they are but unless you have a massive budget   you end up compromising somewhere

• No lift to our rooms - I can manage stairs but when tired that's a struggle..however with the help of LM its just another night of being helped to bed :)
• Tight on space at times so noise levels will hurt after a while - comes to my next point timings 

Yay you have found the perfect spoonie venue and now you can just get on and plan. It's all plain sailing,  you just need to find a dress marry your loved one and its easy right?

Sadly no not really, although its been fun planning and I'm sure I'm not different to many other brides to have to think round things but this is a big fat spoonie wedding.we have to add in nap time and think about how to manage a  whole day of talking, standing, laughing and generally being sociable with lots of people when my usual day is me my lap top and I, and even when i am out more than 5 people and a couple of hours can leave me so exhausted LM gives me the look and decides its time to go home eeeppp!!!

The 5 P's of planning

Prior Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.. there is another version but I'm be being a lady dontcha know. In other words be honest with yourself, and if you cant be make sure you have best women like mine that between them declare...

"Now who is going to manage Beth on the day" - lol i was both amused and  apart of me was saying but but but i will im a growd up..however im also a spoonie and think i can do all this stuff when i cant.

Ive realised this has turned into an epic blog and ive got as far as the venue..so perhaps this will be a series of blogs over the next week

 Episode 2 will see the bride work out the timings for the big day and find a dress
 Episode 3 will see LM worrying about how the bride will get through the day..Gin of course!


* LM pointed out that i needed a comma as it looks like the dog was shouting at us rather than the old lady..but for comedic value ive left it alone