Saturday 14 July 2012

Planning my wedding - Spoonie Style Pt2

 * As I have no idea how to have part 1 show before this one read it here  Wedding Plan Part 1

They say timing is everything well in the case of a Spoonie style wedding it is, along with a healthy does of realism..

As much as id like to swim along in a sea of ecstasy dreaming of a whole day where i am simply filled with the elixir of love, and will awake at dawn refreshed and virginal* ready to marry my one true love. The reality is something very different..I can almost here Barabra Cartland turning in her grave as i type..While of course it will be romantic and lovely it will also still have fibro in it..

Keeping in mind that:
  • I will get fatigued during the day
  • I will need to sit down 
  • I will need a rest at some point
  • I will try to over do it
  • I will ignore all my best intentions on the day
Keeping all of those things in mind, I have planned around them so I can at least mitigate the parts that will have the potential to ruin our day..I have to remember If i push it too hard then LM has to deal with it too..

Type of day you want 

That of course is personal choice,  we considered the following:
  • Morning ceremony followed by lunch - No evening reception
  • Full on sheebang morning ceremony, afternoon and evening reception
  • late Afternoon ceremony - evening reception
  • Eloping
It might seem odd to do this, and of course finances, how big or small your family is, how many friends you have etc - those are important. BUT before you even go there put you at the heart of this - by you I mean both of you. Forget for a moment all the flim flam of other peoples expectations..Everything else hangs off this decision.

Big Tip 1 - step back and write down together what's the most important thing to both of you 

For us besides a lovely cremony and actually getting married. It was having our loved ones and friends share our day. We then worked out the best way to achieve this and make sure i could manage and pace our day. We looked at each type of day and made our decisions with the knowledge of what we wanted.

I cannot emphasise enough that doing this step 1st before anything else helps the rest fall into place because you can stick to your guns if needs be, or be clear with others what you want. 

We decided on an afternoon ceremony, we are getting married at 3pm with my best women instructed that from 12pm no one not even my mother is to just pop in  and chat.

Why? You might ask - well chat costs spoons so by making sure i have down time before hand means im not exhausted before i begin. My two best friends are fabulous but formidable and if i get past them i have 4 others waiting with gaffa tape a ball gag and hand cuffs to ensure  I REST!!!

Timings for the day
  • Ceremony at 3pm
  • Post ceremony drinks and photos - 40 mins max - we have gone for as short turn around as possible to limit the spoon usage and means i dont do too much talking.
  • Sit down for dinner at 4pm (ish) -this allows me to time my tea time drugs for 6pm
  • nap and rest time - post dinner 1 hour 
  • I reappear at 7pm (ish)
  • Disco and evening Reception beings at 7.30 pm 
  • 1st Dance
  • Ignore all common sense have a glass of wine and dance beyond allotted spoons

Top Tip 2 Make a list of  a few really important things you want and stick to those - share your theme and accept offers of help.


You might not think there is much to think about here besides music, readings and has the best man got the rings!  However, if like me walking very far unaided is hard, or the dreaded standing for more than a minute or two is no go then the mechanics of the ceremony needs planing too.

Most weddings have the Birde and Groom standing, sitting, standing sitting and standing again etc - for me that would be a night mare. So we have already thought about it to make sure I do as little of the jack-in-a-box act as possible

Our Ceremony plan

I walk in on the arm of my Best Friend aka Mrs Woman
Smile as I know LM will be at this point crying - he cries at DIY SOS
Give him a hug and sit down - Our celebrant (we are having a humanist ceremony) will say hello and throughout the readings and intro we will remain seated.

Only when we make our vows will be stand up - if the room could take it I would have the chairs arranged in such a way we were in the middle seen by everyone and not needing to stand so its my compromise.

I will be standing for no more than 2 or 3 mins and if its too much then LM will just have to go down on one knee and slip my ring on my finger that way.

After the Ceremony 

As you can see we have thought about limiting the amount of time I have to chat to lots of people, have made sure i can go and rest after dinner and come back for the dancin. Everyone will be made aware this is the plan - but most of all My Best Women know the plan and I wont be letting anyone down if i slip off for a nap.

 The only person i need to convince of this is me :)

Top Tip 3 - Talk to your venue make sure they are aware of what you need not just what you want. Find out what is the turn around time between ceremony and eating if that's what you want. You dont have to do it in military precision but having a plan prevents misunderstandings on the day.

Top tip 4 - Delegate - Pick one person who you know is organised and will do whats needed that person is your coordinator on the day. Best Bird is mine - she knows exactly what i want and will make it happen. 

Gosh sorry i seem to be doing lots of detail - I hope this is useful, there are lots of wedding planning sites out there but they don't talk about the kind of issues I face. hence this yet again long post..

And i haven't even gushed about my time I promise and pictures of my shoes - the ones that arnt flat or very sensible and definitely fall into the Non Spoonie Foot Wear Categorie..but I was sensible enough not to go for the 6" red Ruby Slippers I wanted*

*Well if its good enough for Maddona Like a Virgin... 
*I chose our colour theme LM noddeed and pretended to listen
*Only because i couldnt get my hobbit feet in them - common sense had nothing to do with it


  1. Spoonie time for the bride means spponie guests can get nap time too lol x

    1. Tee Hee very true..Im sure many guests would like a nap time x

  2. Can I add Top Tip No 5??

    Making sure that there are at least 4 burly men to remove the beautiful blushing bride to her bedroom for enforced rest at several points in the day, because you can bet your bottom dollar that in true spoonie fashion she will be insisting that no, really, she's fine and not tired at all while all the time her body is saying "Rest me, REST ME NOW!" and being completely ignored.

    Now as a fellow spoonie and honoured guest, I will of course be following my own advice and taking regular rests, remembering to take my medication and NOT ignoring my wonderful hubby's suggestions that perhaps I need to lie down now that I cannot any longer string a coherent sentence together and/or make my legs work properly (and that's BEFORE the alcohol!).

    Just so we're clear on that one then ;-P

    1. LMAO of course...we shall ignore all said advice then moan like cow bags for a week after but re-living the amazing day for a very long time..but 4 burly of ny friends is a fire officer he could count tee hee xx


Happy to have thoughtful, funny or imformative comments..abusive crap will be deleted